I got too lazy to separate my review so I'm just posting it as is. This review can also be found on sabthebookeater.blogspot.comI've decided to combine my review of Fifty Shades Darker and Fifty Shades Freed because I don't think I can muster enough patience to finish two separate book reviews about these books. This will basically look like a shotgun review because it's been months since I've read the books and I can't remember every single thing I want to nitpick about.As I've said in my review of Fifty Shades of Grey I said I got on the bandwagon and it took me longer to get off it. And because I briefly enjoyed the idea of Christian Grey, it brought me to reading the two other book in the trilogy - unfortunately. Besides, I find that I'm a much better critic when I'm just pointing out all the stuff I didn't like about a book (which isn't being a critic at all). *One thing you should know is that all the insight I will provide in this review is based on my thoughts, post bandwagon period.Fifty Shades Darker In Fifty Shades of Grey, EL James left us with Anna breaking up with Christian - thank goodness. Unfortunately, for a sequel to push through they have to get back together. And that's my main problem. How friggin' hard is it to decided whether or not a guy's worth your time? Sure, he's rich and hot but HE'S PSYCHOTIC. Really, Anna? Inside Anna's mind: Nevermind that he's a psychotic, sex-crazed, control freak. I love him. He's a broken little boy trapped inside this gorgeous body and I want to fix him.And don't even get me started on Christian's ex-sub haunting the story. It's like EL James was desperate to create conflict in the book that should've stopped with Fifty Shades of Grey, that she had to create an overblown problem about a crazy ex. I'm all for fantasy and all but this is too much. It's almost like a twisted fan fiction.... oh wait, it was!Now a lot of girls actually like how possessive and controlling Christian is, some girls actually think that's cute. But for me, it's plain creepy. How could you not feel a teeny tiny bit scared of him having "fifty shades"? I really, really don't get Anna. My usual rants about Fifty Shades of Grey were still present in the 2nd book: repetitive words that were inappropriately used, too much sex I could skip all of them and not miss a thing, and the sloppy writing. What's new. Yay.Fifty Shades FreedSo now we have the mentally disturbed couple happily married and rich. A few things I'd like to rant about:1) Christian and Anna's petty fights. The one I can remember is the one where Anna goes topless during their honeymoon to piss off Christian and then she falls asleep. Christian finds out and to punish her, he puts hickies all over Anna's chest area so she won't be able to expose herself again. Am I the only who thinks this is just a waste of few pages?2) Christian's helpers. We all know he has a loyal assistant/bodyguard Taylor who basically would do anything for him. That's okay. I can forego his exaggerated loyalty. But now we find out that his house help, Mrs. Jones, cleans some of the objects inside the "playroom." HOLD IT. You mean to tell me that this house help, who does the laundry, cooks food, and basically tidies the house also takes care of Christian's toys? You have got to be kidding me. It's absurd how Christian's little helpers are all too comfortable and fine with how he does his business. I mean really.... really.3) Anna saves the day. I can't even find the words to describe how stupid I think this part of the story is. Anna being heroic and following the kidnapper's instructions so she can protect Christian's family. *slow clap* I have to give her props though for rising to the occasion unlike Bella Swan (who's basically her PG-13 self in another dimension). But come on! You. Are. So. Freaking. Stupid. I don't even want to dwell on this anymore, I might just end up repeating myself.Probably the only thing that I liked in this book is Anna telling Christian that she's pregnant. Because Christian freaked out and stormed off. Hahahahahaha. No seriously though, it was only logical when Christian admitted that he finally understood that what he did with Mrs. Robinson was wrong because he imagined how it would be like if his son would do it. Bravo! Finally, douche bag.To end this terrible review/rant, I would just like to say: fan fictions are incredibly perverted. The end.Seriously though, I can't believe this series surpassed Harry Potter book 7's sales. I am mortified. And saddened at how people's taste level is significantly going down nowadays. Ladies! I know they say people should read more, but we meant everyone should read more books with substance. Learn to filter what you read and quit raving about this trilogy. If you though this series is worth 3-5 stars, you obviously need to read more. (okay that was harsh but this whole entry's harsh so what the heck)Now... the end.